How Can We Be Happy?

According to the framework outlined for me by a Dominican priest, authentic happiness must encompass four essential components. Specifically, it must be:

1. Secure
2. Never-ending
3. “In us” meaning its ours
4. Totally fulfilling, or complete

Secure, meaning it is stable and not subject to loss or collapse; never-ending, meaning it does not diminish or come to an end; “in us,” meaning it is something we possess intrinsically rather than something dependent on external circumstances; and totally fulfilling, meaning it is complete and lacking in nothing.

So let’s consider some things commonly thought of or sought after as means to our happiness. First: money.

1. Is it secure? No, your business could fail, you could get fired, it could be stolen, etc.
2. Is it never-ending? Maybe for Elon Musk…but certainly not for 99% of us
3. Is it “in us?” Definitely not. Money is completely dependent on the external
4. Is it totally fulfilling? Many studies show that even the richest people are deeply lonely and unsatisfied with their lives, so I think not

Money is likely the primary way many people—especially in America—attempt to secure happiness. Yet, as we have seen, it fails to satisfy even one of the previously established criteria. So let us turn to another common pursuit of happiness: food, drink, and other substances.

1. Is it secure? Probably more secure than money, but there are plenty of people for whom it is not secure, and let us also consider the various famines that have occurred over the course of history
2. Is it never-ending? You cannot eat, consume, or drink things endlessly. You stomach/body cannot sustain it
3. Is it “in us?” I guess you could say on a very literal level that food is “in us,” but it is not something we intrinsically possess
4. Is it totally fulfilling? I would respond with another question: what is the outcome for those who make food or other substances the source of their ultimate fulfillment? From observation, the result is often excess (obesity), dependency, or addiction rather than genuine satisfaction.

Food and other substances may appear to meet more of the criteria for happiness than money does, but they still fall significantly short. Their effects are temporary, dependent on external circumstances, and ultimately incapable of fully satisfying the human person. So let us consider one more commonly proposed source of happiness—perhaps the most compelling in our secular culture: community and human connection apart from God.

1. Is it secure? No, friendships don’t last, people can die, others can move
2. Is it never-ending? No, and pretty much for the same reasons^
3. Is it “in us?” Maybe some connections–like family–we possess intrinsically, but most of our connections are dependent on external circumstances
4. Is it totally fulfilling? It can’t be due to the imperfect and finite nature of human existence. Even in close relationships, people can hurt us, leave us, get sick or die.

So, community and human connection alone cannot ultimately satisfy these criteria either. And whatever else one might propose—success, pleasure, status, achievement—can be measured against the same four standards. I am confident that none of them will fully meet all four.

Which brings us to the central question: what can?

If happiness must be secure, eternal, intrinsic (in us), and totally fulfilling, then only one reality satisfies all four—God.

1. God is unchanging and cannot be lost (Hebrews 13:8)
2. God is eternal and exists outside of time itself (Revelation 1:8)
3. God sent his Holy Spirit to live within us (Galatians 4:6)
4. Union with God is complete fulfillment (Colossians 2:10)

If someone disagrees that God is the ultimate end of human happiness, then the disagreement must lie with the criteria themselves. But I don’t see why anyone reasonably would oppose the criteria, since anything that could be lost, finite, taken away, or incomplete could not possibly be the summit of human happiness.

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Knowing now that God alone satisfies all the relevant criteria for human happiness, the question becomes: what should you do? Should you go to Church every Sunday, believing that this alone will make you happy? Or should you start a podcast on the Christian faith? Don’t get me wrong—these are valuable practices—but notice that I am not claiming that “church” or “podcasts” themselves constitute true happiness. God does. Him alone.

Church and podcasts may be excellent ways to encounter God or deepen your understanding of Him, but they do not address the root of happiness. True happiness comes from having God Himself—engaging in a personal relationship with Him. A central way to cultivate and sustain this relationship is, indeed, through practices like attending Church or exploring His teachings, but the foundational desire must come first: the desire to be in communion with Him.

This desire is primarily expressed through prayer, through attuning your spirit to His, being mindful of His presence, silencing your heart, meditating on His Word, and inviting Him into every aspect of your life. This is what it truly means to allow God to be the source of your happiness. Every external action should flow from the conscious decision to make Him your ultimate and singular source of fulfillment.

In conclusion, true human happiness cannot be found in money, pleasure, status, or even relationships alone, because these things are insecure, finite, external, and ultimately unfulfilling. Only God meets all the criteria for lasting, complete happiness—secure, eternal, intrinsic, and fully satisfying. To experience this happiness, it is not the external practices themselves that bring fulfillment, but the personal relationship with God that they help cultivate. When we attune our hearts to Him through prayer, meditation, and mindful presence, all other actions—going to Church, learning, serving—flow naturally from the decision to make Him the source of our joy. In God alone, we find the summit of human happiness, and everything else is meaningful only insofar as it draws us closer to Him.